Forgiveness is a very unattractive virtue for most of us, yet it is a very important one. While our ego associates Forgiveness with accepting injustice or letting someone get away with ´doing the wrong thing´, that`s not what forgiveness is really about.
Wayne Dyer says “Forgiveness is the most powerful thing that you can do for your physiology and your spirituality;….it means that you fill yourself with love and you radiate that love outward and refuse to hang onto the venom or hatred that was engendered by the behaviours that caused the wounds.”
Here´s what that means.
“The weak can never forgive.
Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
A Sign Of Strength
The moment we get hurt physically, emotionally or mentally we experience pain on all levels. It is easy to get swept away by anger and resentment, and if you ask me, it is natural and okay to feel these emotions.
However there comes a time when the pain will diminish and this is a very important moment: it´s the perfect time to stop the cycle of resentment, blame, self-doubt, guilt, anger, frustration, resentment, blame….
It takes strength to break the pattern and take over responsibility for our actions or non-actions instead of allowing our feelings to control us. It is in fact quite doable because…
“Forgiveness is not an emotion, it´s a decision”
A Matter Of Choice
Everyone has at some stage been hurt by someone we trusted. Still it is not the event itself that is painful, it is the meaning we give it. How we interpret what happened ´to us´ and what learning we take away from the event, will ultimately determine our re-action and whether we choose to blame or to forgive.
Forgiveness may not be an easy decision to make, and maybe it is one that has to be made again and again, but it still is a decision.
Forgiveness is not a matter of ability, something that some people CAN do and others CAN´T. Although it may feel like we really can´t, the real question is whether we WANT to forgive or not and there is a big difference between those two options.
In order to make the decision to WANT to forgive, it might be of benefit to understand that ….
“We may not know how to forgive, and we may not want to forgive;
but the very fact we say we are willing to forgive begins the healing practice”
A Gift To Self
Being in a state of Blame, the opposite of Forgiveness, puts a lot of physical and mental stress on us. Any kind of stress will, if un-addressed over a period of time, manifest in either our physical or mental body, causing blockages in our energy lines (meridians) and/or energy centres (chakras).
This is our body´s way to communicate with us, to tell us that something is out of balance and that something needs to be done about it, that something needs to change.
As mentioned above, forgiveness means that you fill yourself with love, the purest of all emotions and the one that quickly and effortlessly initiates a healing process. It means radiating that love outward, a very important fact if we remember that we attract what we send out. That´s why…
“Forgiveness is almost a selfish act because of its immense
benefits to the one who forgives”
A Path To Freedom
We have been conditioned to believe that letting go of resentment means we do the ones that hurt us a favour. We believe that they are the ones that are hurting and that they deserve to suffer.
Unfortunately very often the other person doesn´t realise how much he or she hurt us, whether or how we´ve been hurt at all or sometimes they simply don´t care enough to even bother.
So in the end it´s not the other one who suffers, it´s us.
We attract what we send out, what we focus on is what we get and what we give energy to (in form of thoughts and emotions) is what we get more of.
As soon as we remember this and decide that we had enough pain, that it no longer serves us, that we can let it go, that we can – forgive, we can focus on and re-connect with what we really want. Forgiveness will set us free and will give us…
Peace of Mind
Forgiveness is extremely powerful.
The moment we decide that it is time to forgive others and ourselves, when we finally choose to let go of resentments, grudges or remorse, is the moment we allow peace to re-enter into our life.
“If you let go a little you will have a little peace;
if you let go a lot you will have a lot of peace;
if you let go completely you will have complete peace.”
Let go of what no longer serves, supports or nurtures you.
Forgive those who have hurt you, because they are your greatest teachers who give you lessons you can learn from and master. They help you to become a better person. And in the end, there is no revenge so complete as forgiveness. Or to say it with Oskar Wilde´s words:
“Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much!”